Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
