Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize