No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
