the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
