Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
