im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
