Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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