if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's never too late to be topless.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
