he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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