i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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