I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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