Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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