Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
