We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
