This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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