I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
