Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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