some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
