two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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