im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
