you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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