so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is Oprah even human
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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