guys are not supposed to queef...right?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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