He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize