I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
