so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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