he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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