just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
