so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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