A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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