Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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