HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
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He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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