Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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