Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i think im in europe. pls send help
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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