And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
