Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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