when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
