We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sorry about my life...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
