pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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