3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My vagina is very pro this idea
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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