I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
