so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
