Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
