I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Life is so much better after having sex.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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