There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
