I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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