I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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