do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize