I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
