idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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