Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
