i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
