I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
