every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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