Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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