Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
50% drunk capacity currently
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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