I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
3pm strippers are depressing
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
