I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
