I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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