the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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