The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
