There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Even the bartender felt bad for me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
