What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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