I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
