i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
