she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
